It's been some time since I last wrote anything. We have had a lot happen with J over the past several months. Between work and dealing with him, there is just not enough hours in a day.
J's behavior has been escalating and esclating for quite some time. We receive a daily report from school that he has hit someone, punched someone, taunting his classmates, sent to the "refocus" room, refusing to do his school work, and the list goes on. For every 1 good day we have with him, there are 6 bad days. We have had multiple medication adjustments. He never goes a day without his medication. His case worker visits with him 3 times a week and tries to counsel him. This week alone J has bit a teacher rather hard, attempted to bite others, hit another in the stomach, charged at teachers, punched another teacher in the head 3 times, and punched another in the nose. Yesterday he refused to take a bath, would not go to his room and threw himself on the floor. He then proceded to "run away" and left the house with no shoes and run down the street. We had to call the police for assistance with him.
For the past several months we have tried to convey to the doctor handling his medications that his behaviors are getting worse. We have let her know all of the steps we have tried to take to get J to control his behavior. Consequences, punshiments, privileges taken away, encouragement, rewards, motivation techniques, and even ignoring his behavior has not worked. He will repeat the behavior the next day or so. We currenlty have him seeing a therapist but I have little hope that it will have any positive impact.
My husband and I have withstood J's biligerance, mocking attitude, and outright defiance. We have tried to reason with him, talk with him about his behavior, and explain what is wrong and right. We have bought him things in the hopes it will help calm him down. I have read books and articles in the hopes to find something that will help but have not been successful. In fact all these books say to care for yourself first but we can't because we are too busy taking care of him. My husband and I have had to walk away from him several times in order to prevent ourselves from doing or saying something that we will regret. I pray for him practically every day and still find myself hitting the same brick wall. We have done everything we could to help J and yet he continues to be profoundly disrespectful toward us.
His case worker told us that she commends us for our patience with him. She went on to say how patient we have been with him, far more than she has seen with other parents. She insisted we have been good parents to him. It got me realizing how much I prayed to the Lord to have patience with J. I've also had to ask for forgiveness for some of my reactions toward J. However, patience has been one of my constant prayers where J is concerned. I just don't know how much longer I can keep praying for patience.
How much patience will it actually take before J receives the help and evaluation he needs? How much more do I need to pray for peace to envelop J? When will someone actually do something rather than provide lip service? How much longer do I keep praying for help? At what point is enough enough? I have been fighting for J 6 years now. My cup is running on empty. It has been quite some time since it was full.
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