Up the Hill, Down the Hill

J was two years old when he came to us. My husband and I had to go through the foster system in two states in order to have J come live with us. We had to meet the requirements of both states before J could come live with us. We had to undergo 5 different background checks and several hours of training. Although the information we received in the training classes was adequate, it still did not prepare us for J.

It was suspected that J had autism. He barely spoke, grunted mostly. He would rock or bang his head and overall displayed signs of a child with autism- at least a child with autism on the lower end of the spectrum. When we met him for the first time what I saw was a child who was behind emotionally and behaviorally. He was quiet and observant - loved to watch us cook and did interact with us. Since he didn't speak well enough or form words, he was being taught sign language to communicate. He seemed to understand what was being told to him but could not express in words what he needed.

After jumping through all of the DHS hoops, we finally had J living with us. We did not use sign language to communicate. Instead we spoke to him often. I read and sang to him often. But for the first few months or so, J spoke very little. The times he did speak drove us absolutely crazy.

Now, I know what you are thinking. How could we have been driven crazy by a child who barely spoke? Most parents would be overjoyed by a quiet child speaking in sentences. At first, we were. Instead of one or two words, J was speaking in a full sentence after being with us for a few months. Ah, progress! I was excited that he was speaking more when earlier that year we were told he may not speak well at all. My husband was thrilled too. The first time he spoke his words we both laughed and smiled at J and responded with, "That's right, we are."

J's first words he strung together after those first few months were: "Up the hill, down the hill." Not only were these his first significant words to us, he used it every single time we drove up or down a hill. He would repeat this phrase every time we came across a hill. He would also use them correctly in context. As we would go up a hill, J would state "up the hill," as we went down "down the hill." After our trip over the hill was completed, he would string it together, "Up the hill, down the hill." He would not say this just one time. No, he would repeat the phrase until we acknowledge him.

Now, there are several hills we have to travel over whenever we leave our house. How were we driven crazy? Every single hill we came across, J would say his phrase whether we were leaving the house or coming home. "Up the hill, down the hill," was all my husband and I heard for weeks from J. It's like having an earworm. You don't mind having the song stuck in your head for a little bit; but, when it stays there - well, you know, it is the hardest thing to get rid of. In our case, it is a small two year old child causing the earworm.

He began to understand the use of pronouns - mainly because how we responded to him, he would then say: "We went up the hill. We went down the hill." Sometimes, he would use "I" instead of "We." Eventually, it became "They went up the hill. They went down the hill." Ugh! J gave new meaning to earworms and a broken record. Hence, why we were driven crazy by a child who barely spoke.

It is ironic that his first phrase to us would be symbolic of what we have been going through with J. Over the past 6 years, we have had many peaks and valleys with J. It has not been a straight steady road but full of valleys, hills, and curves. His vocalizations of going up and down hills are a thing of the past.

Today, J does not stop talking. Sometimes he flows right into one idea after another. There are times he will drift back to his original statement or thought and wants to talk about it some more. I think we have shouted "Quiet!" so many times our ears ring with it constantly whereas it just flows in and out of J's ear. With all that has happened in the past 6 years, it does make me appreciate how far we have come with J and the days when all he would say was "Up the hill, down the hill."